Song for Sunday: Details in the Fabric (In Memory of Tom Serewicz)

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I heard on the radio the other day that one third of all traffic accidents involve a driver under the influence of alcohol. One third.

And that’s only some of the preventable accidents. Other forms of impaired driving involve distractions like texting, cell phone use or playing games on devices. Inexperienced drivers are also often distracted by other passengers, by the radio, by food or by coffee and other soft drinks. Everyone who drives while impaired or distracted has made a choice to do so. In some cases, others on hand have allowed it.

Friends, our choices matter.

They mattered to Tom Serewicz and his family. Tom was just 24 when he and his best friend were on their way home from a night fishing trip. Their car was struck by the car of a drunk and drugged driver who was going the wrong way on the highway. All three were killed.  It was June 17, 2011.

Tom left behind a wife, two very young sons, a mother and two sisters. Their heartbreak continues five years later and will continue as long as they live. That woman’s choice ended her life, and two other lives, and had a horrible impact on two families.

One of Tom’s sisters is a dancer. She choreographed the song Details in the Fabric by Jason Mraz as a testament to how the family clung to each other after the accident and supported each other in their grief. It is a moving testimony to their love for Tom and each other.

A sample of the lyrics:

Hang on
Help is on the way
And stay strong
I'm doing everything

Details in the Fabric is today’s “Song for Sunday.”  Here’s a link to it.

 Live Kindly, Choose Responsibly

Learn more about Tom and how to end drunk driving here:

Drunk Driving
Ending Drunk Driving
Drunk Driving
Celebrating a Life
Drunk Driving: In Memory of Tom Serewicz

The Thomas J. Serewicz, Sr. Foundation for Kind &Responsible Living remembers Tom’s loving and generous spirit by supporting a variety of charities and hosting an annual memorial picnic, which I attended today.

I met Tom and his wife, Cherise, at the Christian YouthConference at Ocean Park (CYC), when they were teenagers. It was where they met and decided to marry. (I looked after Cherise’s engagement ring once while she was out on a service project doing physical labor.) CYC meets for two weeks every August in Maine and is open to all high schoolers. There are still slots available for the 2016 conference. Check it out!

Memories and ABCs -- Camp!

Each year at the youth conference, the classes of young women make gifts for each other, their counselors, and the women faculty. . Back in 1999, one class handed out a scroll title the "ABC's of NEBYC." It's a list of things they found wonderful about the conference and wanted to remember. I came across my copy today. Reading it,  I realized how much of the list would be echoed by campers now... or campers back in 1920. Back in 1920, we were called the "School of Methods"; now we are CYC. But name changes notwithstanding, the important stuff has remained constant. Here's that list:

The ABC's of NEBYC

A  Alone with God: Answers: Amazing

B  Beauty: Banquet: Boys: Believing is Becoming: Bell Tower: Block Party: Big Sisters

C  Communion: Commitment: Chapel: Class: Campfire: Care Cards: Canoeing: Curfew: Camp Meetings

D  Dining Hall: Dancing: Desire: Devotions

E  Enthusiasm: Energy (or lack of): Evening program: Everlasting Bond

F  Faith: Fun: Friends:: Fellowship: Fort Williams: Free Time

G  God: Graduation

H  Hasseltine: Hope: Hugs: Holy Spirit

I  Indescribable: Ideas: Individual: Inspiration

J  Jesus: Judson: Joking: Joy

K  Knowledge: Kindred Spirits

L  Love: Listening: Laughter: Life: Little Sisters

M  Meaning: Miracles: Moonlight

N  Nature

O  Ocean Park: Ocean: Openness

P Peaceful: Party: Pines: Possibilities

Q Questions: Quiet Time

R  Railroad Tracks: Raiding (there is no...): Reveille: Raspberry Lime Rickey

S   Singing: Serenade: Silence: Sherwood: Sunrise: Sunset: Searching: Swimming: Soda Fountain: Soulful:

     Smiles: Spirit: Sunshine

T  Temple: Thankful: Tears & Tissues: Trust: Talent Show

U  Unconditional Acceptance: unity: Unique

V  Ventures: Vacation: Volleyball: Vespers

W  Worthy: Wacky: Wonderful: Water: Welcome

X  Xcellent: Xtraordinary

Y  You (the one and only): Yummy

Z  Zany: Zeal

Camps and conferences for teens offer so much. Try it and see. 

CYC, or the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park, offers two weeks of Christian community, discipleship training, fun and friendship every August on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. Check us out!

 

Getting Organized --Playroom, Update 2

Well, getting there. This second weekly update brings visible progress. Some, anyway.

Still need encouragement and prayers though. I've still got the target date of July 1.

For those following along. here's photos:


Beginning:

Current:

The fact that this is visible progress is testimony to how bad it was when I started. *sigh*

Well, on we go.....


Thanks to my biggest encouragers-- and competitors in "The Minimalist Game" -- who are fellow members of the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park (CYC) community. Three of us were students together. The other started attending a few years later. Not all of us are active in CYC anymore and there is some geographic distance, but CYC cements friendships. Encouragement is part of that.

If you know a teenager who would like to make lifelong friends while enjoying two weeks of God, learning and fun a quarter mile from the beach this August, check out this link.

We're also on Facebook.

Previous posts:

Getting Organized -- Playroom
Getting Organized -- Playroom, Update 1


Blessings on your housework this week!

(Belated) Song for Sunday: Come Holy Spirit, Dove Divine

Sunday was my son's baptism, a joyous spiritual event for our family. We read this baptismal hymn in unison after the ceremony. In our Baptist tradition, baptism is for professed believers in Jesus Christ who request the ceremony as a way to demonstrate their faith. We are proud and happy.

In addition, this hymn was written by Adoniram Judson, the first missionary sent by an organization from America to anywhere. He served in Burma. Adoniram and his wife Anne Hasseltine  are the vocational models and inspiration for our men's and women's camps at CYC (the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park.) I re-enact Anne Hasseltine, so this hymn is special to me because of its author.

Now I have the additional connection with it because of Jordan's baptism. So, even though I've used it for this before, it becomes this week's "Song for Sunday."

Come, Holy Spirit, Dove divine,
On these baptismal waters shine,
And teach our hearts, in highest strain,
To praise the Lamb for sinners slain.

We love Your Name, we love Your laws,
And joyfully embrace Your cause;
We love Your cross, the shame, the pain,
O Lamb of God, for sinners slain.

We sink beneath the water’s face,
And thank You for Your saving grace;
We die to sin and seek a grave
With You, beneath the yielding wave.

And as we rise with You to live,
O let the Holy Spirit give
The sealing unction from above,
The joy of life, the fire of love.

                           Adoniram Judson

                           Public Domain

Fighting Summer Learning Loss

Summer learning loss is real. Teachers spend much of the first two months of school reviewing what kids have learned before, especially for low income kids (see article linked below.)

There are many ways to fight summer learning loss: read as a family, cook together, play board games that involve reading and math, visit the library, go to a museum.

Another way is to go to camp. There are, certainly, camps (and summer schools) specifically designed to maintain or forward academic skills. They are not the only good options in this respect, however. Camps that allow kids to explore natute, learn new sports skills, program computers, or make crafts can also be very helpful. According to the article Bunks are Good for Brains camps offer a wide variety of experience that help brains develop well.

At CYC, we have an academic program. It doesn't focus on school subjects, but offers Bible study, spiritual formation, leadership, missions, and self-exploration. These are not intense classes with homework, but they do require students to engage with new topics, to discuss ideas, to express opinions, and to learn skills. All of these help students to keep their minds active, and should help prevent summer learning loss. Other camps can do the same. It's another reason I encourage camp. Do check to make sure the camp you choose is right for your child and safe, but send them. It is a lifechanging experience.

For More Information:

Bunks are Good for Brains

More than a Hunch: Kids Lose Learning Skills Over the Summer Months


Other thoughts on camp:

Why Go to Camp?
Want Your Kids to Astound You?
Making Disciples


CYC (Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park) is a two week leadership development program for high school students. It meets August 2-15, 2015 on the beautiful southern coast of Maine and is open to all teens ages 14 and up who have completed at least eighth grade.

Want Your Kids to Astound You?

A few years ago, I took an informal survey about why teens should go to the Conference I work with.  One of the responses, from an alumnus' dad was:




You will amaze/astound/ baffle/confuse/impress/etc. your parents.




He went on to say:

I will always remember the "deer in the headlights" look of the "little boy" we dropped off at CYC, compared to the confident, competent, joy filled young man who greeted us just one week later at banquet. Each subsequent year brought a new milestone, a new goal, a new acheivement, a new understanding, and a faith and compassion that has remained evident, and constant over the years and the miles.

I know the young man, and he really has made his parents proud. I hope CYC played a part in that. It is what we pray for.

Camp can be a real confidence builder. Our camp is just for teens, so we do encourage goals. We want kids to step outside their comfort zones and stretch their faith. We also try to provide a community they can lean on going forward and to lead them to a deeper relationship with God.

If you are on the fence about sending your kid to camp, I encourage you to go for it. The experience can lead to significant growth. I'd love to think that everyone would go to CYC, but if that isn't appropriate for  your child's age or your location, look into one near you.

Check it out. Make sure it is well run and safe, but do it!  I doubt you'll regret it.

Have a blessed day!




CYC (Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park) is a two week leadership development program for high school students. It meets August 2-15, 2015 on the beautiful southern coast of Maine and is open to all teens ages 14 and up who have completed at least eighth grade.


This is my 21st post for the April 2015 Ultimate Blog Challenge. 

Song for Sunday: GIve it All

This song has come to mind a few times this week. It gets sung frequently at CYC, often at the girl's commitment night fire. It has comforted me countless times.





The second verse is:

"He never promised there'd always be sunshine, He never said there'd be no rain.

He only promised a heart full of singing at the very things that once brought pain."

In other words, he'll transform the tough things in our lives into beautiful things, though we aren't given a timescale. Could be Heaven for some things.










Anyway, enjoy this rendition of the song.

What songs bring you comfort?

This is my 18th post for the April 2015 Ultimate Blog Challenge.

We sing a lot at the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park, a quality discipleship training program and experience of Christian Community, held each August on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. Celebrating our 100th Anniversary! Send your teens!



Memories of Camp

I wrote and posted this a few years ago. I post it again because I think camp is important. A well-run residential camp helps kids to gain independence, take positive risks and make new friends. 

Did you ever go to summer camp?

Did you work at one?

 Memories made in camps often hold a special place in our hearts.  Camps have changed many lives, helped children grow and provided all kinds of inspiration.

Here is one of my favorite memories of my camp experience. Although I learned a ton about both myself and God at Grotonwood, Oceanwood and, especially, CYC. (I attended CYC the longest --in fact I still go.) and I made many, many friends, too, I am not writing about that. This was just plain fun.

 I was a counselor in training at CYC which was called NEBYC at the time. Some of us staff were hanging out at the gate, as we often did after the campers were in bed a counselor remained in each cabin). After a late night snack, we decided to get "creative" with our time. We drove all our cars on to the ballfield and set them up as a used car lot, writing prices on the windows with soap. Then we, um, "borrowed" cars from the sleeping staff and added them to the lot. ( Back then, you could put a car in neutral and safely push it.) When we were done, we noticed some more cars driving in. The faculty had been out for the evening. We formed a human chain across the road to their cabins and made them drive onto the field. As soon as they stopped, we jumped on the windows and wrote prices. They laughed and laughed.  The centerpiece of the lot -- and the car with the highest sales price-- was a VW Van, selling for $9.99. Everyone knew it was John Wilbur's car. He was an older, much adored guy who taught sailing. It was fun...and the next day our sleepy selves got a quite a reaction.

It's kind of a silly memory, sure. But it's a great one to tell when you are reminiscing around a campfire. I am still friends with many of the others involved in that event. Some of us are faculty together, now, and ready to laugh at the antics of the younger folks.

 I would be very interested to read summer camp stories, even ones that seem silly.  What was good about your camp experience? What was your favorite thing about camp? What did you do for fun? What did you learn? Are you still involved with that camp? Please comment and let me know.

Yeah, that,

So I am in Ocean Park, ME. 'Cause it is beautiful and a bit of a change is nice.

CYC is going on now (which is why I am visiting now, really.)


Today I witnessed something I had to report to the men's camp director. I was in the soda fountain, getting a Raspberry Lime Rickey. As a stood in line, I became aware of a young man from the camp interacting with an elderly couple who were using mobility aids --the man a wheelchair, the woman a cane. The Judson man (that's what CYC calls it's male campers) stood in line for the couple, ordered their food and twice refused their offer to pay for his ice cream saying it wasn't necessary. He noticed the man was wearing a veteran's t-shirt and thanked him for his service.

I couldn't help but smile.

Then, I have been a believer in Christian camp for 30+ years.


I am not the only one convinced. Sometimes people join the community and just "click." That seems to have been the case with this year's chaplaincy duo. Never having been with us ever, they seemed to know what to expect and what was needed. The husband of the team even blogged about the experience. Check out what he had to say here.

See, it's not just me.

I also saw a  variety of posts on Commitment Night from people who couldn't attend but wished they could or shared other memories of their experiences. Not all entirely positive but everyone had some good memories. Not to mention some of the alumni who (like me) were present in person.. for the 35th, 40th or 48th time.

What's been your experience with summer camp?

Song for Sunday: Beautiful Day

It's a beautiful day. The weather is nice -- sunny and cool. I got to worship, work with youth, celebrate a graduation with friends.

Today also would have been my Mom's 74th birthday. My friend Paul rode the PanMass challenge in memory of his wife but also my mother, in honor of his sister-in-law, but also my sister. We are grateful for him.

There is someplace I would rather be than here today, but that isn't what's happening.

So I try to enjoy today as it is... full of worship, work, celebration, memory, and longing. And it's a Beautiful Day, so the U2 song of that name became today's Song for Sunday.

What songs are you enjoying today?

Song for Sunday: Change My Heart Oh God

The youth I work with sang this last Sunday and it grabbed my attention. God has been working on changing my heart in a few ways, so this is a good song for me right now.

Plus, in exactly one week, CYC starts and their theme this year is "Clay in the Potter's Hand." (There is still room if you know a teen who would enjoy the program.)


So, all in all, this became today's "Song for Sunday." I hope it's a blessing to you.

Change My Heart Oh God

by Eddie Espinosa

Celebrating a Life

Today's post has two purposes.

First, it is a restart of sorts. I haven't posted much recently and am now planning to get back to writing regularly. I hope to write three posts a week.

The second purpose is to remember a CYCer and speak out against drunk driving.

Tom was a fun-loving young man of faith whose life, along with that of his best friend, were cut short on July 17, 2010 by a drunk, drugged driver who was traveling in the wrong direction down the highway. She died, too. Tom left a young wife (he was only 24) and two young boys (ages three and one when he died). Tom is only one of far too many tragically taken this way.

You can read more about Tom here.


So I make my annual plea:


Don't drink and drive.

Take the keys.  

Appoint a designated driver.

Call a cab. 

We've all had enough heartache.

Also, Tom's family has started a foundation in his honor called the  The Thomas J. Serewicz Sr. Foundation For Kind & Responsible Living, Inc.

This coming Sunday in central Mass, they will hold a fundraiser and memorial picnic.

Here is their description of the event:

We hope you can join us for our old-fashioned picnic. Relax on your blanket in the sun, play backyard games with family and friends,: Frisbee, blowing bubbles, target games, get a team together for sack races, volleyball, badminton, etc. Or sit inside and just visit or play cards, etc. Grab some summer reading from our second hand book table, enjoy something to eat on us, and just get away from it all and enjoy. Bring your fishing gear if you have a license and want to fish (for a minimal donation). All the while helping a great cause. The day is filled with free fun, and the opportunity to give freely to our fundraising efforts. Bid on some nice things in our silent auction, including passes to Davis Farmland and Megamaze, a 30 minute massage, and some other gift items from our vendors. This year a portion of our proceeds will go to Teen Challenge program, assisting teens and others who are struggling to overcome addictions. Help us to bring something wonderful to the world in honor of Tommy's life and love. 


If you live near there, stop by and join the fun!


And remember, sober driving only.

 

Song for Sunday: He Leadeth Me

"I can't complain but sometimes I still do." 

                                              ~ Joe Walsh

A friend of mine posted this as as his Facebook status, going on to say that he knows he has nothing to complain about because God has blessed him and that he is grateful that  forgiveness is always available when he complains anyway. This struck me because it is very true of me as well. 

Then, in church this morning, we sang "He Leadeth Me. The lines that caught my attention was "Nor ever murmer nor repine. Content whatever lot I see since 'tis my God that leadeth me." 

I am reminded of an activity the staff at CYC did one year. At "Staff-in," our one day orientation before the students arrive, we were given rubber bracelets. We were told that anytime we complained, we were to move our bracelets from one wrist to the other. It was meant as an awareness technique and I think it did some good. Most of us kept it up for the whole two weeks. 

Anyway, He Leadeth Me is a beloved hymn for many and today's "Song for Sunday." 

He leadeth me, O blessèd thought!
O words with heav’nly comfort fraught!
Whate’er I do, where’er I be
Still ’tis God’s hand that leadeth me.

He leadeth me, He leadeth me,
By His own hand He leadeth me;
His faithful follower I would be,
For by His hand He leadeth me.

Sometimes mid scenes of deepest gloom,
Sometimes where Eden’s bowers bloom,
By waters still, over troubled sea,
Still ’tis His hand that leadeth me.

He leadeth me, He leadeth me,
By His own hand He leadeth me;
His faithful follower I would be,

For by His hand He leadeth me.

Lord, I would place my hand in Thine,
Nor ever murmur nor repine;
Content, whatever lot I see,
Since ’tis my God that leadeth me.

He leadeth me, He leadeth me,
By His own hand He leadeth me;
His faithful follower I would be,

For by His hand He leadeth me.

And when my task on earth is done,
When by Thy grace the vict’ry’s won,
E’en death’s cold wave I will not flee,
Since God through Jordan leadeth me.

He leadeth me, He leadeth me,
By His own hand He leadeth me;
His faithful follower I would be,
For by His hand He leadeth me.

                           ~Joseph H. Gilmore, 1862

                             In the public domain

What lines from songs have been standing out for you?

Any thoughts on complaining?

Song for Sunday: Cat's in the Cradle

I feel like my boy is growing up fast. So very glad I have gotten to spend a lot of time with him. Into his teen years, I hope he still wants to hang with the family.

I remember hearing this song in my youth including once around the campfire at the New England Baptist Youth Conference, now the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park. I also heard it live yesterday when I was out with the CYC staff and faculty after they just completed another successful, intense and enjoyable conference. It struck a chord, so it became today's Song for Sunday.

Cat's in the Cradle

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind, m
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then 

Words: Sandy Chapin, Music: Harry Chapin

What songs do you rember from your youth? Which do you think have an important message?

Keep Running, Boston

At the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park, we often have cause to be proud of our campers and alumni. Their accomplishments are legion. Today I will say a few words about one.

Keith is a graphic designer, who runs his own company, Keirstead Designs. Being from Massachusetts and knowing people at the Boston Marathon, he was deeply affected by the bombing as we all were. He decided to use his gifts to help.

During the manhunt the weekend after the marathon, Keith was locked down. He put his time to good use, crafting this design.




He shared it on Facebook, his friends shared it and it became an important symbol and slogan.
Now, you can purchase this design on a t-shirt to help support a pair of bombing victims.

Keep Running Boston T-Shirt

This article about the design going viral gives more detail about how the design ended up being created, how the t-shirts came to be made and exactly how the proceeds will be used.

I am sure a lot of things went into the development of Keith's character, but I hope that CYC did a little to push him in the direction of making a positive difference. It's what we work and pray for, knowing Jesus calls us to train up young people to do good things for Him.


Well done, Keith! We are all proud of you!!


Have you seen someone make a difference?

Song for Sunday: Little Red Wagon

This song is a tradition at CYC, the teen conference I volunteer for. Totally hilarious. Always sung by the Judson Men's Counselors in the dining hall. Must be on a day after the men sing to the women at banquet because the song leader is afraid it will ruin their voices....

You can't ride in my little red wagon, 
Front wheel's broken and the axle's draggin'
Second verse same as the first 
A little bit louder and a little bit worse.

You can't ride in my little red wagon, 

Front wheel's broken and the axle's draggin'

Third verse same as the first 

A little bit louder and a little bit worse. 

You can't ride in my little red wagon, 

Front wheel's broken and the axle's draggin'

Fourth verse same as the first 

A little bit louder and a little bit worse. 

You can't ride in my little red wagon, 

Front wheel's broken and the axle's draggin'

Fifth verse same as the first 

A little bit louder and a little bit worse. 

You can't ride in my little red wagon, 

Front wheel's broken and the axle's draggin'

Sixth verse same as the first 

A little bit louder and a little bit worse. 

You can't ride in my little red wagon, 

Front wheel's broken and the axle's draggin'

Seventh verse same as the first 

A little bit louder and a little bit worse. 

You can't ride in my little red wagon, 

Front wheel's broken and the axle's draggin'

Eighth verse same as the first 

A little bit louder and a little bit worse. 

You can't ride in my little red wagon, 

Front wheel's broken and the axle's draggin'

Ninth verse same as the first 

A little bit louder and a little bit worse. 

You can't ride in my little red wagon, 

Front wheel's broken and the axle's draggin'

Tenth verse same as the first 

A little bit louder and a little bit worse. 

You can't ride in my little red wagon, 

Front wheel's broken and the axle's draggin'

It really is a sight to see grown men going at this song. CYC would be worth just for this.

What songs do you remember from summer camp?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CYC is a two week leadeship development conference for teenagers, held in August on the southern coast of Maine. We offer an intense experience of God and Christian community, awesome worship, exciting classes and plenty of fun. Check it out here.

Do You Have Other Children?

It seems to be happening more right now. People have been asking, "Do you have more children?" "Is he your only?"

I struggle with answering that. 

I am raising one child. However, I have five. Four are in Heaven, having died before they were born, for reasons the doctors haven't been able to figure out. 

So when I am asked, "Do you have other children?" I want to say, "not living;" or "yes, waiting for me in Heaven." 

Sometimes, I do, if the person asking seems to be genuinely interested in my history.   

Usually, though, it's easier to answer as if I am the mom of singleton. It requires less explanation and I don't want to seem as though I am being overdramatic or making a bid for attention. Certainly, I don't want to make someone who has asked an obviously friendly question feel upset or ashamed. It's not a bad question either, I don't think people should stop asking it of others. 

It's just that, sometimes, I feel a bit like I am betraying my other children when I don't mention them.

              -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One year, I lost a baby in March that would have been due in August. This was my third miscarriage, and I had carried halfway under the care of a specialist. We discovered that the baby had died at the twenty week ultrasound. I had already planned not to attend CYC, the conference of the youth ministry I volunteer for, because I was supposed to be on the maternity ward. This wonderful community not only made room for me but surrounded me with a depth of love and care that still amazes me when I think of it. Everyone -- yes the men, too -- offered support, prayer, hugs and extra childcare for Jordan without my ever asking. I was afraid to approach one woman, who had lost three babies after birth, feeling she had suffered so much more. On Commitment Night she was a prayer partner. When I went over to her, she threw her arms around me, reassured me, and prayed fervently, fully understanding my loss. 


At times though,I feel as though there are people who just want women to "get over" miscarriages quickly. I have known of groups where they were considered unimportant, basically something to be ignored. If there is a point of education to this blog, it's this: When you have carried a life within you, however briefly, it's loss brings real grief. 

Erma Bombeck was an auther and comedianne. She could find humor in almost anything, but this is what she said of her miscarriage:

           I lost the baby.....

...As I lay there mumbling “I am so sorry,” the guilt was unbearable. Feelings of self-recrimination came and went like waves of nausea. 

I had now joined a group of women who had to give a child back. They look like other women and they function like other women. But there is an emptiness inside of them that never goes away. At any given time of year when no one knows what they are talking about, they will look wistful and remark that the baby would be three years old today, or five, or ten. They play with the probabilities...the would have beens...could have beens... should have beens... and forever question, "Why?"

The babies would have been 12, 11, 8 and 5. I know they are waiting for me in a perfect place, but I really wish they were here.



Do you have a story of loss to share?







I am participating in the January 2013 Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Youth Ministry Stereotypes Destroyed

In my mind, because of my experience, youth ministers are men in their twenties. All my youth leaders were such and so are my sons.

I am talking about church youth group leaders. I know dozens of women and people in their 30s -80s who have served in other types of youth ministry. I do myself.

Last night, I had a sort of paradigm shift.

I was helping with a CYC Multi-Church Youth Event. We get  local church youth groups together for an evening of fellowship, games and Bible study.

The youth leaders who brought kids last night included four slightly older women (they all have grown children) and a middle aged couple from Southeast Asia. All six were clearly interested in their students and had brought them to meet others. The leaders are going to start meeting to network and plan.

I am excited. I think youth ministry needs people with a range of ages and a variety of interests and experiences not to mention both genders. Men in their twenties have plenty of positves to bring to the position, but so do others. So, if you love God and teenagers, consider if you may be called to this valuable ministry.


Are you?




This is my twentieth post for the October Ultimate Blog Challenge. Only one behind!

Transition....

I began attending Youth Conference 34 years ago in 1979. Back then, the conference bumped Labor Day weekend so that yesterday would have been the last day. I still think of this as when the conference should end.

Now, though, conference is “early.” It actually ended two weeks ago today. We held our Graduation service, a barbecue and the traditional closing circle on Saturday, August 18.

This was my last Graduation Service as Academic Dean of the Conference, so this coming year will be a different one for me. For the first time in nearly two decades, I will not be part of the Planning Committee. I also know that I will most probably not be at conference next August.

I am definitely feeling a sense of loss in all this. I have been at 30 conferences in the 34 years since I started. I’m not worried – the conference is in good hands—but I am sad that I will not be a part of it. I think of all the first and second year students who I worked this year and last year – I’ll be missing out on watching their growth. But whatever year I moved on, that would be the case. There are always more special kids, more deep connections.

Graduation was emotional at points. The Third Year class was amazing – they brought energy to the service, they showed that they had really bonded, and they seemed to have fun. I nearly lost it when, after it was announced that I my term was up, they sang to me and then to the Dean who was also moving on. (Actually, everyone sang to us, but they started it.) That’s something I will carry with me into the next year. I feel like I made a difference to someone.

Hopefully, I’ll be back to CYC sometime soon. For now, I remember…

When have you moved on from something that was important? How have you worked through the emotions?

What I Came Home To........

So we went away to CYC for two weeks and came home to some interesting stuff....


An Exploded Garden...

When we left we had one struggling tomato plant with about six mini-tomatos, a few tall sunflowers that showed no sign of budding, some nasturtium plants that were all leaves and a few healthy green bean and herb plants.

Upon our return, our eyes widened. The garden looked like to had exploded. The tomato plant was now HUGE and had about 50 tomatos and many, many flowers. (A week later, the tomatos are starting to ripen.)

The sunflowers had shot up about 1 1/2 feet and there was an open flower. We headed back to OP for a wedding after a few days and we returned the next night from that trip there were six flowers open and several buds.

The nasturtium plants had more than a dozen flowers.

The green beans yielded a big harvest and the spices had gotten bigger.

Jordan wants to plant more and go away for two weeks again. But that isn't all we came home to. There was also

Notice of Jury Duty

The federal government wants me to serve. I have been called for state jury duty before, but never assigned a case. In the federal government's case, I will be "on-call" for 15 days. Since I homeschool, that means moving in with a friend for at least part of the time, so that Jordan will have supervision and education if I am unavailable.  But, hey, I like New Bedford...

As inconvenient as it may be, I am OK with serving the court system. It might even be interesting to get on a case as long as it isn't too extensive and doesn't deal with a horrible crime. We also came home to, well,

Home

You know, clean showers, a comfortable bed, private time with the family and ........

an intense longing to go back!!

There, that'll do. What did you come home to, after your vacation?