Meme-ic Monday: Micah 6:8

So much violence. Gays are targeted, blacks are targeted, police officers are targeted. And that's just from what made the national news in one country over a short period of time.

If we think globally, it's even easier to be "daunted."

The devil wants to stir up chaos and division, to make the Church a target of hate and suspicion.

The answer to that is to follow Micah 6:8, as described in this meme, and to pray. Always to pray.


Go to do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God. That is what is required of us.



Be a blessing! And have a blessed day.





Micah 6:8 in context



I have learned much about doing justly, loving mercy and walking humbly with God in my years with the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park. It's a fabulous experience for high school teens. Two weeks in August, in southern Maine. Still slots available for 2016!

Memories and ABCs -- Camp!

Each year at the youth conference, the classes of young women make gifts for each other, their counselors, and the women faculty. . Back in 1999, one class handed out a scroll title the "ABC's of NEBYC." It's a list of things they found wonderful about the conference and wanted to remember. I came across my copy today. Reading it,  I realized how much of the list would be echoed by campers now... or campers back in 1920. Back in 1920, we were called the "School of Methods"; now we are CYC. But name changes notwithstanding, the important stuff has remained constant. Here's that list:

The ABC's of NEBYC

A  Alone with God: Answers: Amazing

B  Beauty: Banquet: Boys: Believing is Becoming: Bell Tower: Block Party: Big Sisters

C  Communion: Commitment: Chapel: Class: Campfire: Care Cards: Canoeing: Curfew: Camp Meetings

D  Dining Hall: Dancing: Desire: Devotions

E  Enthusiasm: Energy (or lack of): Evening program: Everlasting Bond

F  Faith: Fun: Friends:: Fellowship: Fort Williams: Free Time

G  God: Graduation

H  Hasseltine: Hope: Hugs: Holy Spirit

I  Indescribable: Ideas: Individual: Inspiration

J  Jesus: Judson: Joking: Joy

K  Knowledge: Kindred Spirits

L  Love: Listening: Laughter: Life: Little Sisters

M  Meaning: Miracles: Moonlight

N  Nature

O  Ocean Park: Ocean: Openness

P Peaceful: Party: Pines: Possibilities

Q Questions: Quiet Time

R  Railroad Tracks: Raiding (there is no...): Reveille: Raspberry Lime Rickey

S   Singing: Serenade: Silence: Sherwood: Sunrise: Sunset: Searching: Swimming: Soda Fountain: Soulful:

     Smiles: Spirit: Sunshine

T  Temple: Thankful: Tears & Tissues: Trust: Talent Show

U  Unconditional Acceptance: unity: Unique

V  Ventures: Vacation: Volleyball: Vespers

W  Worthy: Wacky: Wonderful: Water: Welcome

X  Xcellent: Xtraordinary

Y  You (the one and only): Yummy

Z  Zany: Zeal

Camps and conferences for teens offer so much. Try it and see. 

CYC, or the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park, offers two weeks of Christian community, discipleship training, fun and friendship every August on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. Check us out!

 

Song for Sunday: A Way in a Manger

At church tonight we sang about the Cross. 

Yes, it's Christmas. Usually, more a time to be singing about the manger and Bethlehem. About Jesus as a baby. But, you know, he didn't stay a baby. He isn't a baby now. 

We commemmorate the incarnation every year because it's important. It's God with us. As we reflect on the birth of Jesus though, we need to remember we really are celebrating the anniversary (probably on the wrong date) of that birth. In human terms, Jesus is over 2000 years old; in spiritual terms, he's eternal. 

He came to earth to live with us, to be with us, to experience mortal life and it's temptations and afflictions. He came to die for our sins, to allow for our forgiveness. 

We need to remember that in the midst of cute pageants and carols. 

We also need to remember he loves us and that is why "He made a way in a manger to make a way to the cross."

Enjoy this link to a beautiful reminder of this truth. 

Words and music by Lee Black and Steve Merkel. Performed by Candi Pearson Shelton. 

What Christmas song touches your heart?

I was introduced to this song when it was song by a young woman at the Christian Youth Conference. She sang it at the talent show. On her first attempt she was overwhelmed by stagefright. People surrounded her with support and a little while later she tried again. At the end the teen audience rose to their feet and cheered not only her beautiful singing voice but also her courage to try again. This song is special to me both because of this story and because of it's intrinsic meaning.

Restart

Every once in a while, here at Musings, I need to start over. I haven't written in so long, it's likely people have forgotten to watch. In this case it's been over two months -- since July 19.

So what do I have to say...

 A lot's happened.

 CYC, my favorite ministry, celebrated it's 100th anniversary! There was a Gala Banquet with alumni, staff, and even a few campers. It was amazing. We all knew the same songs and how to respond to code phrases, chants, etc. It was a celebration of continuity, of ministry, of changed lives. And it was fun!! Very loud, very enjoyable.

On the personal side my son started 10th grade and we are wading into geometry proofs, Tinkercad and writing resumes. Plus, we are reading 2001: A Space Odyssey. 

I've started a new job, as youth leader of a local church, and taken on the position of planning chair for CYC.

Human trafficking continues to be on my brain.

Oh, and I am working an a recipe for S'mores Pie.

I hope to write a few times a week and I am planning an update to the look of the blog.


Hope you'll follow along!

What's new with you?



Blog post #1 for the October 2015 Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Fighting Summer Learning Loss

Summer learning loss is real. Teachers spend much of the first two months of school reviewing what kids have learned before, especially for low income kids (see article linked below.)

There are many ways to fight summer learning loss: read as a family, cook together, play board games that involve reading and math, visit the library, go to a museum.

Another way is to go to camp. There are, certainly, camps (and summer schools) specifically designed to maintain or forward academic skills. They are not the only good options in this respect, however. Camps that allow kids to explore natute, learn new sports skills, program computers, or make crafts can also be very helpful. According to the article Bunks are Good for Brains camps offer a wide variety of experience that help brains develop well.

At CYC, we have an academic program. It doesn't focus on school subjects, but offers Bible study, spiritual formation, leadership, missions, and self-exploration. These are not intense classes with homework, but they do require students to engage with new topics, to discuss ideas, to express opinions, and to learn skills. All of these help students to keep their minds active, and should help prevent summer learning loss. Other camps can do the same. It's another reason I encourage camp. Do check to make sure the camp you choose is right for your child and safe, but send them. It is a lifechanging experience.

For More Information:

Bunks are Good for Brains

More than a Hunch: Kids Lose Learning Skills Over the Summer Months


Other thoughts on camp:

Why Go to Camp?
Want Your Kids to Astound You?
Making Disciples


CYC (Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park) is a two week leadership development program for high school students. It meets August 2-15, 2015 on the beautiful southern coast of Maine and is open to all teens ages 14 and up who have completed at least eighth grade.

Song for Sunday: The Marvelous Toy

"I never knew just what it was, and I guess I never will!"

I am in the mood for fun, and this song is fun. We used to sing it a lot at  the youth conference, years and years ago. We had a lot of enthusiasm.

So here's a link to a version by Peter, Paul, and Mary. Enjoy it!

What song brings back memories of fun for you?

CYC, the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park, provides a safe place and loving, accepting community for teens to meet God and experience Christian community. We also have a lot of  fun...even though we don't sing this song anymore. Check it out!

Letting God Work

This story came to mind.

Two alcoholics in Britain attended a revival meeting and committed their lives to Jesus. Years later they met. The first said, "Since that night, praise God, I have never wanted a drink." The other said, "Since that night I have wanted a drink every single day but, praise God, He has given me the strength to resist every time."

This story may be apocryphal, but I do know people have given very similar testimonies. It shows how God works differently with each person.

Then I remembered this old story from the youth conferene I voluneer for (now called CYC.) It shows how God can work through love and acceptance to change a life -- and was just one example of this at the conference. It was described by Rev. John Douhan, quoted in Christian Youth Conference: A History.

Where else does a young man appear on his first day of camp, draped over the fence at the girls' camp, with cigarettes in each hand and puffing so much that he appears to be in a cloud? The staff did not admonish, did not scold, and gave no lectures on the health benefits of quitting. By the third day he was down to one cigarette and by the fourth day there were none! Following his three years at the Conference, he entered the service of his country and served as a Chaplain's assistent. 

Then I started reading the book The Core Realities of Youth Ministry by Mike Yaconelli and came across this quote from youth worker Heather Flies:

    During our end-end-of-junior-high trip, all the students are required to give testimonies of their faith. We encourage them to be authentic and specific. Typically, the testimonies begin, "I grew up in a Christian home and accepted Christ when I was 3 1/2 years old..." One year though, toward the end of the testimonies, Ted stood to give his. In about six minutes he genuinely explained that he had not yet put his faith in Christ and wasn't sure if he would do it. at this points looks of shock and anxiety spread across the faces of my other students. Immediately following our session, many came up to me and said, "We have to do something! Should we all write him notes?" They wanted so much to fix Ted.      Instead of starting a letter-writing campaign, I encouraged them to do what they were already doing --loving and accepting Ted and letting Christ's light shine through them, to be present for him so he could experience God's presence. "That's it?" they asked. "Yep."    God is still working on Ted and my kids are still working to let God work on Ted. 

I sense a theme here.. a message from God to me, perhaps. "Love." "Be present so others can sense my presence." "Let me work." 

Time for some meditaton, some self-evaluation, some prayer.


What messages has God been sending you?














CYC, the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park, provides a safe place and loving, accepting community for teens to meet God and experience Christian community. Check it out!

Glow in the Dark

I am at a youth retreat and the theme is "Glow in the Dark." This ancient prayer, especially the first few lines, fits in perfectly. We are talking a lot about transformation. We also had a Color Powder War, because why not?

Anyway, to help in your worship of God:

Look upon us, O Lord,
and let all the darkness of our souls
vanish before the beams of thy brightness.
Fill us with holy love,
and open to us the treasures of thy wisdom.
All our desire is known unto thee,
therefore perfect what thou hast begun,
and what thy Spirit has awakened us to ask in prayer.
We seek thy face,
turn thy face unto us and show us thy glory.
Then shall our longing be satisfied,
and our peace shall be perfect.
                                ~St. Augustine

Read more at: http://www.faithandworship.com/early_Christian_prayers.htm#ixzz3YNxwIGIp 
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution 
Follow us: @faithandworship on Twitter | faithandworship on Facebook


Are there any ancient prayers or writings that fit your life right now?




This is my 24th post for the April 2015 Ultimate Blog Challenge. 



Check out the Christian Youth Conference. Friends, fun, the beach, craziness and plenty of prayer. August 2-15 on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. For high school teens.

Kids, Parents and Religion

"... parents from religious traditions that in general promote greater commitment and encourage discussing faith outside the sanctuary also were more likely to have children who remained active in their faith as young adults."
 

Check out this article.

Parents are top influence in teens 

remaining active in religion as young adults

Seems we parents are important to our kids faith... and that holding them accountable keeps them more interested. I wouldn't be surprised if that held true in other areas, like education and community service. If we do it, they'll do it. If we encourage effort and commitment they'll respond.

Quite a challenge. Quite a responsibility.

May we prove ourselves up to it!

Blessings on your day!



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The Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park is very willing to help out parents by providing their teens with a two week experience of Christian community. It meets in August, on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. \Check it out... www.cycop.org

Song for Sunday: Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart

This morning, the students at the church where I help out with the youth program sang this song and made an excellent Thanksgiving presentation. They were directed by one of the parents who also helped put the program together.

I really like this song and it's message. I hope you do, too.

Song for Sunday: Beautiful Day

It's a beautiful day. The weather is nice -- sunny and cool. I got to worship, work with youth, celebrate a graduation with friends.

Today also would have been my Mom's 74th birthday. My friend Paul rode the PanMass challenge in memory of his wife but also my mother, in honor of his sister-in-law, but also my sister. We are grateful for him.

There is someplace I would rather be than here today, but that isn't what's happening.

So I try to enjoy today as it is... full of worship, work, celebration, memory, and longing. And it's a Beautiful Day, so the U2 song of that name became today's Song for Sunday.

What songs are you enjoying today?

Song for Sunday: Change My Heart Oh God

The youth I work with sang this last Sunday and it grabbed my attention. God has been working on changing my heart in a few ways, so this is a good song for me right now.

Plus, in exactly one week, CYC starts and their theme this year is "Clay in the Potter's Hand." (There is still room if you know a teen who would enjoy the program.)


So, all in all, this became today's "Song for Sunday." I hope it's a blessing to you.

Change My Heart Oh God

by Eddie Espinosa

Intercultural Experience at Camp

Jordan went to camp recently and came back declaring he had a great time. He was in the water club, shot the first bullseye in archery, made a beard in the mancave and stayed in a yurt. So he learned skills, gained confidence and got to interact in positive ways with people who are different from him.

Jordan attended an American Baptist camp. Earlier in July, I posted the article "Real Diversity" in which I explained that the American Baptist denomination, like the U.S. of the near future, has no majority ethnic group. We want to set a positive example of how to work out this level of diversity well.

Jordan's camp was reflective of the larger denomination. Five ethnic groups were represented by the ten campers and two counselors in the group. The female counselor was from another country and was the only one to represent that group, all the other groups were represented by more than one person. The group was diverse in other ways, too. There were both urban and suburban kids. At least one child had significant disabilities. The campers had different interests, also, which is why there were three different clubs and a wide variety of activities.  There was one similarity -- the campers were all from Christian families and both counselors were Christians. Worship was a part of the camp routine.


The diversity wasn't planned by the camp. People signed up for a convenient session and were assigned on a first come/first serve basis. I am excited that this was a natural representation rather than an engineered grouping.

Jordan didn't come home talking about intercultural experiences and differences. He talked about friends and activities. That's the way it is supposed to be. 

Camp offers many positive benefits, which is why I send my son and encourage others to send their children.  Interacting with a diverse group 24/7 is one of those benefits.


What opportunities have your kids had to interact with people who were different from them?





God camp for teens -- the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park offers worship, Christian education and fun in an intense -- and diverse -- Christian community. This years two week session starts next Sunday, August 4th, but there is still time to register.  

Drunk Driving

In 2010, 31% of all automobile fatalities were due to drunk driving. Tom Serewicz and his best friend were two to be included in that statistic. They weren't drinking, the other driver was.

Tom was 24 years old. He loved life and he was a man of faith who loved God and enjoyed studying the Bible. He built strong friendships in the camp and would chat with fellow campers who were feeling down. He was known for raids and plans for larger than life raids (raids are late night pranks) and even brought night vision goggles to the conference one year. Making others laugh was a great joy of his and he enjoyed clowning around. Tom was kindhearted and has been described as a good soul. His friends feel the world is a little darker and a little colder because he is gone from earth. Tom left behind his wife of nearly five years and their two very young boys. Things weren't always easy for Tom, but he was growing into his responsibilities and was a very loving husband and truly devoted father, just starting a new business to support his family.

It is in his memory that I post this blog. It is my hope that no more young women will be left widows, no more small children will be left fatherless, no more mothers and fathers will get that horrifying phone call, no more siblings will have cause to cry because of such an avoidable situation.

Tom is gone because someone made a bad choice -- the choice to drink and drive. Help stop these tragedies.

Here are a few thoughts on how:

-- Remember that your judgment will be impaired if you drink, and you are unlikely to notice. Appoint the designated driver before the party or night out. Give them your keys at the beginning of the festivities.

-- Talk to your teens. Be ready and willing to pick them up, without lectures, if they or their driver have been drinking or doing drugs. Later, you can explain your views on teen drinking but make sure that they know you are proud of them for choosing not to drive drunk and that it was the right thing to call you.

-- And teens/ young adults, make the call when you need to. Better upset parents than you dead. Taxis work, too.

-- Don't forget that if the people you are babysitting for come home inebriated, you can make alternate arrangements to get home. In fact, please do. Your parents won't mind you calling them. Trust me.

-- Be willing to take the keys. If you are the designated driver or witness someone trying to drive drunk, stop them. Sure, they might be mad. But, if they remember anything, they'll probably thank you when they are more clearheaded. And if they don't want to be your friend after that, are you sure they are someone you want to hang out with anyway? At any rate, everyone else on the road will be very pleased.

--Organize an awareness event in town, write a letter to the editor, spread the word that drunk driving is bad.

Drunk Driving Prevention Resources

Mothers Against Drunk Driving

CADD USA -- Teens

 I am sure you can think of other things. Whatever you do, thanks for keeping the roads safer.


RIP Tom Serewicz.




I knew Tom through the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park., where he was a camper and I was a staff. He is missed by those who knew him there and elsewhere.
 

Multicultural Experience --Sort of

How did you hear about the Conference? Do you go to this church?

I heard that question a lot today. I was a guest speaker at a conference and was, for much of the time, the only white person present.

I had a great time. I was speaking to (and re-enacting for) a national youth and young adult group. They have a direct connection to the woman I re-enact and their host church had invited me. They are first and second generation Americans. This group was using English, unlike their parents down the hall.  They also dressed like typical American teens and twenty-somethings and their t-shirts proclaimed American interests. This makes sense. They grew up here. They fit in at their schools and colleges. In some ways this was not an intercultural experience because we all share American culture.

 On the other hand, these young folks enjoy their annual weekend conference when they gather as Christians of their specific ethnicity, so much so that they are resisting attempts to make it biennial.

From the moment I walked in this morning, I was welcomed, even by people who didn't know why I was there. I was greeted, directed to the food line, spoken too by everyone. People were curious about my presence, though. I kinda stood out.

Finally, my contact was located, I was given information and shown to my room. Everyone smiled, everyone was friendly. The youths included me in their worship and games.

I couldn't quite get over a sense of being "other", though. Probably because I was.

I mean, yes, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, yes we all live in the same country,  speak the same language and know the same songs. Still, they were gathered because of ethnicity and I was different. Which is part of what intercultural worship, ministry, and cooperation is about. Being different together.

When I was done speaking I stayed for worship and then excused myself when we got to a long break.

I had enjoyed myself and was grateful for the chance to be part of the celebration.

When have you been involved in an event for another culture?

 

Enticing Children

Many types of cereal come with a toy or children's  DVD in the box. I have noticed that it is almost exclusively the more highly-sugared varieties with artificial colors, marshmallows and/or a lack of whole grain that offer these extras. I wondered why.

It's just a guess, but I think cereal companies figure that parents will buy the healthier cereals anyway. They also will be the more likely choice of childless adults. Companies need to get the not so healthy cereals sold, so they add on the plastic goodies and bet on parents not saying "no" to a whiny child in the grocery store.

Many teen health programs also contend that  tobacco companies target teens and younger kids with their advertising methods.

I was speaking to a tobacco educator a few days ago and she was explaining how small, flavored cigars are sold for less money than candy. They are also displayed at kid-eye level if bright foil packages. I checked out a local shop and found that she was right, though the price was slightly higher than she had said. These cigars are no safer than cigarettes, but they don't carry the tax so they can be sold cheaply.

Studies show that between 80 and 90% of people who smoke begin before age 18. It is critical for the tobacco companies to hook high- schoolers if they want a future base of customers. It appears that they push by advertising on shows teens favor and in a manner that will catch their attention. For more info, try these links:

              http://www.livestrong.com/article/195520-why-do-people-start-smoking-tobacco/

 

http://suite101.com/article/tobacco-advertising-and-teens-a13273

 

http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2011-12-12/national/35284919_1_stores-check-identification-youth-cigar-teens-smoke

 

As parents, educators and youth ministers, we need to be aware of these tactics and arm our kids against them. Study after study shows that kids do listen to parents. Start telling kids young not to smoke, and keep telling them. Set the right example.

 

That goes for overly sugar, low-nutrient cereal and various other stuff that's not good for us, too.

 

 

 

How do you teach your kids to be healthy?

Challenging Youth

I took my son to a conference on global poverty today. There was an excellent program and I will share some of the solutions discussed in future blogs.

Today, I want to talk about challenging teens and respecting their intelligence. I know some people who do this very well. I also know that there are many groups, organizations and people who take the idea that adolescence should be a good time or a chance to blow off steam before the responsibilities of adulthood. I wonder, though, how well prepared such kids will be for those responsibilities.

My son was the only child at the conference. I took him as part of his schooling. He heard people talk about subsistence living, compassion, and the dream destroying effects of real poverty. He learned about biosand filters, medical missions, microfinance, farmers' cooperatives and how the Gospel of Jesus Christ has changed lives and communities in various contexts. He would have asked a question of one of the speakers but someone else asked that same question first. It was a good question. He made comments about some of the visuals.

My son seemed to grasp what was being discussed, except when the keynote speaker gave his talk. That man was discussing "fiscal restraint," "austerity measures," and "debt liquidation." Challenging concepts even for adults, especially those who haven't studied economic theory. Still, the boy listened, only fidgeting a little, and maybe learned something. At one point, I told him he could go hang around outside during the rest of the final speech. He chose to stay.

This was an adult conference and Jordan did fine. Much as the proud Momma in me wants to think that Jordan is exceptionally bright (he is rather smart) he really isn't all that unusual. Teens can handle a lot. They just need the opportunity and, like all of us, the encouragement not to be intellectually lazy.


A pastor I know has repeatedly stated, "Don't talk down to teens." In our homes, schools, communities and, perhaps especially, our churches we need to encourage kids to reach their full potential. In fact we need to push them. It's part of parenting and part of youth ministry.


That's my opinion any way. What's yours?






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The academic program at the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park has been raising the bar, working with the kids to give them a solid foundation in Biblical literacy, basic doctrine and church leadership skills. (We do throw in some fun during the two-week conference, too.) In August, on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. Check it out!

Where Should Teens Worship?

This topic has come up a lot lately.

Some churches have teens in the general worship service. A few even give teens significant responsibility there. The idea is that everyone should worship together as a church family and that this will give teens a sense of belonging to the wider group.

Other churches hold a separate, concurrent service specifically for teens. The idea is that teens are interested in different topics and different worship styles than adults and a separate service will draw them in and give them a sense of ownership.

Personally, I hold with the first group. Teens should be required to struggle with complex and controversial ideas and be challenge toward adult thinking and understanding.They are very capable of this and that capability should be respected.  Even younger children can actually be a part of all-church worship service.

Yes, teens need ownership of something. A well-run youth group, meeting at a different time than worship,  can offer that, especially if youth have their own physical space within the building to (within reason) make their own.

The trend, though, seems to be toward option two and there are some good arguments for that as well.

What do you think? Where should teens worship?


If you are in youth ministry, check out CYC a two week conference for youth that meets in August on the beautiful southern coast of Maine.
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Song for Sunday: Deep

One of our Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park faculty members stood up during worship at a recent meeting of Baptist churches in Massachusetts. "I love this song and I made the mistake of teaching it to CYC and now we always sing it." 

Her resonant voice began the spiritual: "Deep, way down deep...." The congregation joined in with the CYCers at the back of the room adding some extra energy to one of their favorite songs. Just as if they were at the Dining Hall up in Maine, they banged the tables when they sang the word "deep" in the chorus. The rest of the congregation sang and clapped along. 

So today's Song for Sunday is this song. We worship with it, having fun at the same time. It is a song that has brought us joy.

Deep, way down 
Deep, way down 
Deep down in my soul

Deep, way down 
Deep, way down 
Deep down in my soul

(call) I've got the love 
(response) I've got the love of Jesus 
call) I've got the love 
(response) I've got the love of Jesus 
call) I've got the love 
(response) I've got the love of Jesus 
And it's deep down in my soul

(Repeat, replacing "love" with joy, then peace, then hope and sing a final verse using each one of those with the chorus between each verse.)

What song brings you excitement and energy?

*********************************************************************************

"If you aren't sending your teens to the Christian Youth Conference, you should be." ~Rev. Steve Youd,
Director of World Mission Support, The American Baptist Churches of Massachusetts. Check out this amazing two week leadership development program for teens here.

Teens and Confidentiality

It used to be that there was a very active conversation among parents about when to send your child into the pediatrician alone. Opinions varied from age 9-16 and many felt that it depended on the child's maturity, personality and comfort level.

In Massachusetts, that all changed a few years ago, when a new law mandated that all teens 14 years and older have time alone with their doctor. It was no longer a parental decision based on the unique needs of a particular child. It became a cookie - cutter rule.

You can probably sense that I have a problem with that, but it has also sent me thinking in another direction. I am reminded of a conversation I had with a parent about the youth leaders of her church. She has some concerns about the youth program and has not sent her kids. The leaders have been quite forceful ("almost threatening", the mother said) about wanting access to her kids.

"Your kids are going to do things that they don't tell you about. We'll be able to advise and protect them," they said.

This seriously concerned the mother. "They weren't going to inform me if they found out my child was up to something. They were going to deal with it themselves."

My sense is that these particular youth leaders may need to look at their approach to parents and their overall attitude towards them, but this situation does open up a wider conversation.

How much confidentiality should teens expect from their youth ministers?

Certainly some things -- questions about scripture, struggles with prayer, difficulties with friends, dislike of school and the like -- should be held close to the vest. There are also things that clearly need to be reported -- if the child is threatening to harm themselves or others, parents must be told; abuse needs to be reported to appropriate authorities.

Youth ministers can not always deliver and, therefore, should not promise absolute confidentiality. However, they shouldn't be blabbering about everything that comes up in private conversation or in group meetings. A sense of safety must be preserved. Care must be taken.

So what if a teen is:

Drinking underage?
Experimenting with drugs?
Texting while driving?
Sexually active?
Pregnant/fathering a child?
Considering running away?

What's the line? How do we balance the teen's need for a safe adult to talk to with the parent's right to guide their child's behavior?

In some cases, we can help a teenager speak with their parents, even being a supportive presence during a difficult conversation. Other times, we may choose to advise the teen ourselves. Sometimes, we may call the parents.

But, again, how do we decide? This can be a difficult balancing act.

I'd love to open up a conversation. How do you handle these things? How would you want your child's youth leader to handle them? Teens, what's your perspective? Please share your thoughts.