Memories and ABCs -- Camp!

Each year at the youth conference, the classes of young women make gifts for each other, their counselors, and the women faculty. . Back in 1999, one class handed out a scroll title the "ABC's of NEBYC." It's a list of things they found wonderful about the conference and wanted to remember. I came across my copy today. Reading it,  I realized how much of the list would be echoed by campers now... or campers back in 1920. Back in 1920, we were called the "School of Methods"; now we are CYC. But name changes notwithstanding, the important stuff has remained constant. Here's that list:

The ABC's of NEBYC

A  Alone with God: Answers: Amazing

B  Beauty: Banquet: Boys: Believing is Becoming: Bell Tower: Block Party: Big Sisters

C  Communion: Commitment: Chapel: Class: Campfire: Care Cards: Canoeing: Curfew: Camp Meetings

D  Dining Hall: Dancing: Desire: Devotions

E  Enthusiasm: Energy (or lack of): Evening program: Everlasting Bond

F  Faith: Fun: Friends:: Fellowship: Fort Williams: Free Time

G  God: Graduation

H  Hasseltine: Hope: Hugs: Holy Spirit

I  Indescribable: Ideas: Individual: Inspiration

J  Jesus: Judson: Joking: Joy

K  Knowledge: Kindred Spirits

L  Love: Listening: Laughter: Life: Little Sisters

M  Meaning: Miracles: Moonlight

N  Nature

O  Ocean Park: Ocean: Openness

P Peaceful: Party: Pines: Possibilities

Q Questions: Quiet Time

R  Railroad Tracks: Raiding (there is no...): Reveille: Raspberry Lime Rickey

S   Singing: Serenade: Silence: Sherwood: Sunrise: Sunset: Searching: Swimming: Soda Fountain: Soulful:

     Smiles: Spirit: Sunshine

T  Temple: Thankful: Tears & Tissues: Trust: Talent Show

U  Unconditional Acceptance: unity: Unique

V  Ventures: Vacation: Volleyball: Vespers

W  Worthy: Wacky: Wonderful: Water: Welcome

X  Xcellent: Xtraordinary

Y  You (the one and only): Yummy

Z  Zany: Zeal

Camps and conferences for teens offer so much. Try it and see. 

CYC, or the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park, offers two weeks of Christian community, discipleship training, fun and friendship every August on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. Check us out!

 

Taking Orders ... Impaired Driving

Recently, I obeyed a direct order from my teenage son.

I do not, as a general policy, believe that parents should take orders from their children. It is supposed to be the other way around. So, maybe I should explain.

It was actually the first day of high school in our homeschool. We progressed quite well through academics and I planned on cooking a special meal for the evening. I took a nap to try, unsuccessfully, to rid myself of a headache and then went downstairs. I got my shopping bags and keys. My son asked me what I was doing. I told him I was going grocery shopping for his treat.

He looked at me and said, "Bed. Now." ........and I climbed obediently back up the stairs and into bed.

Later I was a bit chagrined at myself for simply doing as I was I told. Then I thought about it. I believe it was a good thing that I did just that. Why? Here are a few reasons:

That headache was debilitating. My driving would have been impaired. I could have harmed myself or someone else or worse. I did not belong on the road and apparently my judgment was impaired enough that I didn't realize it. So, it's a good thing that someone stopped me from getting behind the wheel, regardless of the fact that the someone was 36 years my junior and in my care besides.

It set an example for Jordan. Someday, for whatever reason, he may be impaired and wanting to drive. If someone tries to stop him, in that moment he just might remember that his mother accepted the fact that she could not drive when she was told not to. Stranger things have happened.

It empowered Jordan. He learned that it works when you tell an impaired person not to drive. If I had disciplined him for speaking up, that might have given him a different message and someday when the driver he is with is drunk, or distracted, or exhausted, he might  keep quiet. We don't want that.

I still maintain that teenagers do not get to order their parents about or set the house rules. But there are moments ...


Your thoughts?

Teens and Confidentiality

It used to be that there was a very active conversation among parents about when to send your child into the pediatrician alone. Opinions varied from age 9-16 and many felt that it depended on the child's maturity, personality and comfort level.

In Massachusetts, that all changed a few years ago, when a new law mandated that all teens 14 years and older have time alone with their doctor. It was no longer a parental decision based on the unique needs of a particular child. It became a cookie - cutter rule.

You can probably sense that I have a problem with that, but it has also sent me thinking in another direction. I am reminded of a conversation I had with a parent about the youth leaders of her church. She has some concerns about the youth program and has not sent her kids. The leaders have been quite forceful ("almost threatening", the mother said) about wanting access to her kids.

"Your kids are going to do things that they don't tell you about. We'll be able to advise and protect them," they said.

This seriously concerned the mother. "They weren't going to inform me if they found out my child was up to something. They were going to deal with it themselves."

My sense is that these particular youth leaders may need to look at their approach to parents and their overall attitude towards them, but this situation does open up a wider conversation.

How much confidentiality should teens expect from their youth ministers?

Certainly some things -- questions about scripture, struggles with prayer, difficulties with friends, dislike of school and the like -- should be held close to the vest. There are also things that clearly need to be reported -- if the child is threatening to harm themselves or others, parents must be told; abuse needs to be reported to appropriate authorities.

Youth ministers can not always deliver and, therefore, should not promise absolute confidentiality. However, they shouldn't be blabbering about everything that comes up in private conversation or in group meetings. A sense of safety must be preserved. Care must be taken.

So what if a teen is:

Drinking underage?
Experimenting with drugs?
Texting while driving?
Sexually active?
Pregnant/fathering a child?
Considering running away?

What's the line? How do we balance the teen's need for a safe adult to talk to with the parent's right to guide their child's behavior?

In some cases, we can help a teenager speak with their parents, even being a supportive presence during a difficult conversation. Other times, we may choose to advise the teen ourselves. Sometimes, we may call the parents.

But, again, how do we decide? This can be a difficult balancing act.

I'd love to open up a conversation. How do you handle these things? How would you want your child's youth leader to handle them? Teens, what's your perspective? Please share your thoughts.

Teenagers

"In scientific terms, teenagers can be a pain in the ass. But they are quite possibly the most fully, crucially adaptive human beings around." -- David Dobbs

                    That quote is from an article* that describes some studies about brain development in adolescents and comes to some interesting conclusions. I didn't agree with everything Mr. Dobbs had to say, but he made some interesting points.

• Teenagers put more weight on rewards than on risks. So if they see a potential reward, especially a social one, they will go for it even at great risk to their safety. But they do know the risks and will often take precautions.
• Teenagers are easily influenced, quite moldable really. But adults need to take care, coaching from the sidelines, rather than being directive. If you tell a teen what to be interested in, chances are they will run the other way. But it should be that way, shouldn't it? At this age they should be discovering their own interests, their own path. We just need to hold the reigns enough so they do it safely.
• Teens are more interested in what their friends think than in what adults have to say. No surprise there.
• Teens fear social rejection more than anything else. Their brains are wired to tell them that their whole future depends on acceptance.

These kids are learning to adapt to adult life. They are searching for ways to fit into society and preparing to move from home into the wider world.

By the way, I don't think teenagers are a pain in the ______. I quite enjoy their company. Oh, they have their moments, but who doesn't?

What implications do you see these ideas having for youth ministry? Do we need to change things so that adults are more mentors and cheerleaders than directors? Can groups find ways to offer real social rewards that are not handed out because of risk-taking behavior? How do we help kids facing rejection because of their faith? Have you had any successes in these areas?

I'd love to get a discussion going around this.

* Dobbs, David, "Beautiful Teenage Brains", National Geographic,October 2011, Pg. 36


I am partipating in the Ultimate Blog Challenge this month. This is my first post. I will get to 31!

Drunk Driving

Yesterday marked the first anniversary of the death of a young alumni of the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park, the teen ministry I volunteer for. He was killed by a drunk and drugged driver on the way home from a fishing expedition. His best friend and the driver of the other car were also killed.

Drinking and driving isn't really a hot topic right now. It has given way to texting while driving (another dangerous combination). But in the news or not, it still leads to tragedy. There have been many attempts to put a face on drunk driving victims over the years. I am going to try again. If you are part of CYC, you will recognize the ties to a Judson brother. For those who are not, I hope you see a fellow human being, gone too soon.


Tom was 24 years old. He loved life and he was a man of faith who loved God and enjoyed studying the Bible. He built strong friendships in the camp and would chat with fellow campers who were feeling down. He was known for raids and plans for larger than life raids (raids are late night pranks) and even brought night vision goggles to the conference one year. Making others laugh was a great joy of his and he enjoyed clowning around. Tom was kindhearted and has been described as a good soul. His friends feel the world is a little darker and a little colder because he is gone from earth. Tom left behind his wife of nearly five years and their two very young boys. Things weren't always easy for Tom, but he was growing into his responsibilities and was a very loving husband and truly devoted father.

We rejoice that he is in Heaven with Jesus but we shouldn't have to be mourning his absence here on earth. He is gone because someone made a bad choice -- the choice to drink and drive. Help stop these tragedies.

Here are a few thoughts on how:

-- Remember that your judgement will be impaired if you drink, and you are unlikely to notice. Appoint the designated driver before the party or night out. Give them your keys at the beginning of the festivities.

-- Talk to your teens. Be ready and willing to pick them up, without lectures, if they or their driver have been drinking or doing drugs. Later, you can explain your views on teen drinking but make sure that they know you are proud of them for choosing not to drive drunk and that it was the right thing to call you.

-- And teens/ young adults, make the call when you need to. Better upset parents than you dead. Or call me. I'll pick you up or find someone who can. Taxis work, too.

-- Don't forget that if the people you are babysitting for come home inebriated, you can make alternate arrangements to get home. In fact, please do. Your parents won't mind you calling them. Trust me.

-- Be willing to take the keys. If you are the designated driver or witness someone trying to drive drunk, stop them. Sure, they might be mad. But, if they remember anything, they'll probably thank you when they are more clearheaded. And if they don't want to be your friend after that, are you sure they are someone you want to hang out with anyway? At any rate, everyone else on the road will be very pleased.

--Organize an awareness event in town, write a letter to the editor, spread the word that drunk driving is bad.


I am sure you can think of other things. Whatever you do, thanks for keeping the roads safer.


RIP Tom Serewicz.

Developing Faith in Teens

Youth are an exciting group to work with. Helping them to mature in faith and to make faith their own is a real challenge. Teens are moving from family-based to peer-based influences and need careful guidance to make good choices. On the other hand, their growing ability to use good judgement must be respected. How do we go about teaching them while keeping this balance?


I asked members of the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park (CYC) about their favorite devotions. Their answers showed some common threads.

Teens, it seems, like to have their imaginations engaged. Many enjoy visualizing things as they learn. Tell a Bible story slowly, asking them to close their eyes and imagine they are an onlooker. The story of the woman caught in adultery works well as do the feeding of the five thousand or any other miracle story. As you tell the story, add in descriptions of the setting -- sights, sounds, smells. Describe what an onlooker may be doing. After, hold an open discussion of their thoughts and feelings during the story. This works best in small groups. In larger groups the Dean of CYC has very successfully used "Obscure Bible Stories." He chooses a less well known passage of scripture and has students act it out. This requires a a charismatic leader with a sense of humor to work best. Plus, you need to know your audience somewhat so you can pick students who will fill roles well and enjoy the attention.

Another memorable large group activity engaged imaginations in a different way. A bowl of clear water was placed on an overhead projector. Students were asked to call out things that were mucking up their lives. Some of these were sins or internal struggles. Some were family, school or work situations. Health problems and disabilities were also listed. For each thing stated, a drop of food coloring was put into the water. Different colors were used and the water soon turned murky. When the kids were done, inspirational music was played and a drop of glycerin was put into the water. The colors slowly disappeared and the water became clear again. This can be used to show how Jesus can work in our lives. Though it was used many years ago, one of our alumna still remembers it as being "beautiful and touching."

Kids like hands on stuff, too. One of our counselors uses a devotion in which she teaches her cabin to turn broken glass into cement art. She talks to the campers about how God can take our brokeness and turn it into art.

Of course we use all the traditional stuff, too. Discussions and sermons and skits They work well with some kids, especially if order is kept. One of the alumni remembers his favorite devotions as being "All of the ones that the 'PAY ATTENTION' rule was in effect for." Don't forget, too, that teens can lead. We encourage students to lead devotions in cabins and classes and to help up front. One of the responses I got on favorite devotions, from a current student, was: "The one I lead my second year. About God's promises to us. For example Jeremiah 29:11." What they teach, they remember.


One of our Chaplains also constantly reminded us, "Don't coddle teenagers." It's good to challenge youth. They can do so much! They can also handle tough topics in a mature way. Some of them have first hand experience with topics such as life-threatening illness and abuse. Don't shy away, but do be sensitive and supportive. And remember, if you love and respect the youth you work with your genuine faith will shine through, whatever methods you use. God bless your ministry!


What have you found effective in working with teenagers?





Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park is a two week ecumenical conference for high school students held in August on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. The theme for the 2011 conference is "Face to Face" and will look at restoring relationships between God and individuals, and amongst people. Click here for more information.


Teaching Teens to Grow Closer to God

Teaching Teens to Grow Closer to God.

The faith development of their students is something every yourh minister thinks about and works on. When I recently asked people from the ministry I work for what signicant things they had learned at Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park had taught them, growing their relationship with God was a top theme:

One response:

CYC taught me to make my faith my own, to make it deep and personal.

This reminds me of the idea that God has no grandchildren. Each new generation must be won for Christ if they are to know Him. But it also speaks to the differences between a parent's faith and the child's or a teacher's and a student's. Each young person must appropriate the faith for himself. They may have new methods of worshipping, new styles of music. They may walk a different path in terms of how they relate to God. But as long as Who they are putting there trust in is the same, it's all good. Teens who simply replicate the faith of others may end up simply going through the motions. That type of faith may not last.

Deep, personal does last. Through such a faith God is understood to be able to see a person through anything.

Another answer:

After a ruff year my freshman year of high school I learned how to rebuild my relationship with GOD. It made my life whole again.

God is always ready to receive us, to welcome us or to welcome us back. His love is so great that He will never abandon us. So many teens are hurting! So many are going through difficult times! Leading them to the Source of All Healing is a great privilege. Teaching them to rely on God, to put there trust in Him is important work and requires both intentional teaching and constant example. It is so amazing to help them to identify and use tools to strengthen there relationship with God.

It's not always easy to find engaging and effective ways to work with teens. Soon, I will blog about the how of leading teens.

In the meantime, have a great day!











Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park is a two week ecumenical conference for high school students held in August on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. The theme for the 2011 conference is "Face to Face" and will look at restoring relationships between God and individuals, and amongst people. Click here for more information.

What teens think about serving

Following on from yesterday's post, I have a few quotes from some of our students at CYC who participated in Ventures service projects. They were asked, "What's good about Ventures?"

The first two comments:
"We get to spend time helping the community."

"Helping others."

This, of course, is the essence of serving. It is, ultimately, why we should do it. Jesus told us to serve, to help.

Another person said:

"Knowing the caring presence of Conference would linger in OP [the town] after our two weeks were over."

Building bridges between people, between our teens and the community, is part of our purpose. Service is a good way to do this. It also helps the community at large to gain a postive impression of youth and their potential.

"Finding out what kind of missions you have a passion for; exploring the possibilities for service in the future."


This is an awesome outcome of service. Helping kids to find their gifts and how they can use them for God should be a real focus of youth ministry. Providing opportunities to serve is a great way to accomplish this.

All of the above are true. As a leader I am glad that students are thinking about their service's effect on others. Or about the ways that serving will help them to minister in the future. This is why Ventures is such an important part of our program...and will be for years to come.


Blessings on your day!






Christian youth Conference at Ocean Park is a two week ecumenical conference for high school students held in August on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. The theme for the 2011 conference is "Face to Face" and will look at restoring relationships between God and individuals, and amongst people. Click here for more information.

Love is a Verb!

Defining love can be a tough thing, but assigning it a part of speech is big step in the right direction. I don’t know who first came up with the phrase “Love is a Verb” but I do know that we used it as a theme at CYC one year. When asked about a significant thing they had learned at CYC, one of our people answered with that theme.

When love is a verb, service becomes very important. Teaching teens to serve is both exciting and rewarding. That is why at CYC we spend one morning on Ventures, going out to serve the community. As the kids work together in groups to help others they create an energy that is palpable. Sure those others benefit, but quite often the teens reap even more positive results. Teamwork, responsibility and putting the needs of others before your own are all important lessons than can be part of a volunteer effort.


Often, serving is a positive experience. The teens have fun. Perhaps they work with children who are cute and enjoy having them around. Perhaps an elderly woman thanks them for stacking her firewood. Perhaps after hours of clearing trails, they plunge into a river and splash each other for a while. At CYC, kids have known these experiences and as a leader I have been thrilled to see their excitement.


But, sometimes, it’s not like that. Maybe a group with Alzheimer’s was tough to deal with. Or people at the soup kitchen made nasty comments. Our teens have had those experiences, too. In one case that I remember, we sent a Ventures to clean the dunes along the town’s beach. The dunes were fenced in at that time and the townies did – and still do feel very protective of them. After all they are an important part of the town’s defense against flooding and beautiful besides. Town officials had asked us to go inside the fence and pick up trash so we sent a group to do just that. And people yelled at them. “You shouldn’t be in there.” Repeatedly, the team leaders explained who they were and what they were doing, but many people up and down the beach expressed displeasure. The townies are actually a nice lot, generally speaking, but protecting those dunes was high on their priority list and they didn’t know who the kids were. Our students were a bit discouraged when they got back. Still, they stuck with it, finished the job and grew through the experience. We tried to help them learn that serving is not for a reward or praise. It’s to help.

We teach that “Love is a Verb” through this hands –on experience every year. We also talk about it, conduct classes on it and model it. We hold up two exceptional servants of God, Adoniram Judson and Ann Hasseltine Judson, as examples. Their lives, dedicated to serving the Burmese people even in very adverse circumstances, have a lot to teach us. So we tell their story each year and commemorate their lives with awards at graduation.



Service is part of the Christian life. It is a high calling and should be undertaken with prayer and careful consideration of our gifts. It’s good to remember that there is no harm in having fun while doing it. Laughter is good in many places.


How are you serving?

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10: 23-25

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] .

Galatians 5:13-14





Christian youth Conference at Ocean Park is a two week ecumenical conference for high school students held in August on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. The theme for the 2011 conference is "Face to Face" and will look at restoring relationships between God and individuals, and amongst people. Click here for more information.