What Jordan Thinks of His Mom, Take 4

 

My son is an amazing kid really. He's bright and funny and imaginative.

So what does he think of me. 

Jordan and I have gone through this list of questions three times before.  I am interested to see how his answers have changed, both for curiosity's sake and as a checkup on my parenting.

Here goes:

Jordan, age 15 years, 4 months and 15 days says....

 

1. What is something mom always says to you? Don't you have schoolwork to be doing?

 

2. What makes mom happy? Jordan doing schoolwork

 

3. What makes mom sad? Telemarketers

4. How does your mom make you laugh? By being Mom

 

5. What did your mom like to do as a child?Play Sonic the Hedgehog Video Games

6. How old is your mom? 51

7. How tall is your mom? 5' 2.6"

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Ask me if I am doing schoolwork

 

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Think of ways to get me to do my schoolwork. (Also known as: "How should I know?")

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Making people do schoolwork.

11. What is your mom really good at? Asking me if I am doing my schoolwork.

12. What is your mom not very good at? Some kinds of geeky trivia

13. What does your mom do for her job? Teach me

14. What is your mom's favorite food? Chocolate

15. What makes you proud of your mom? Um...

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? The Teacher

17. What do you and your mom do together? Schoolwork

18. How are you and your mom the same? We're both geeks.

19. How are you and your mom different? She prefers geeky books to geeky movies.

20. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? Whole Foods

21.How do you know your mom loves you?  'Cause she says so.

Click here for answers from two years ago and here from four and six years ago. 

Parenting is a journey with fits and starts, happiness and tears. times of moving forward, times of falling back. 

How is yours going?

This is my 17th post for the April 2015 Ultimate Blog Challenge.

This year Jordan will be a first year camper at the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park.  Two weeks of worship, fun and friends at the beach in Maine in August. What's not to love?

Kids, Parents and Religion

"... parents from religious traditions that in general promote greater commitment and encourage discussing faith outside the sanctuary also were more likely to have children who remained active in their faith as young adults."
 

Check out this article.

Parents are top influence in teens 

remaining active in religion as young adults

Seems we parents are important to our kids faith... and that holding them accountable keeps them more interested. I wouldn't be surprised if that held true in other areas, like education and community service. If we do it, they'll do it. If we encourage effort and commitment they'll respond.

Quite a challenge. Quite a responsibility.

May we prove ourselves up to it!

Blessings on your day!



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The Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park is very willing to help out parents by providing their teens with a two week experience of Christian community. It meets in August, on the beautiful southern coast of Maine. \Check it out... www.cycop.org

Taking Orders ... Impaired Driving

Recently, I obeyed a direct order from my teenage son.

I do not, as a general policy, believe that parents should take orders from their children. It is supposed to be the other way around. So, maybe I should explain.

It was actually the first day of high school in our homeschool. We progressed quite well through academics and I planned on cooking a special meal for the evening. I took a nap to try, unsuccessfully, to rid myself of a headache and then went downstairs. I got my shopping bags and keys. My son asked me what I was doing. I told him I was going grocery shopping for his treat.

He looked at me and said, "Bed. Now." ........and I climbed obediently back up the stairs and into bed.

Later I was a bit chagrined at myself for simply doing as I was I told. Then I thought about it. I believe it was a good thing that I did just that. Why? Here are a few reasons:

That headache was debilitating. My driving would have been impaired. I could have harmed myself or someone else or worse. I did not belong on the road and apparently my judgment was impaired enough that I didn't realize it. So, it's a good thing that someone stopped me from getting behind the wheel, regardless of the fact that the someone was 36 years my junior and in my care besides.

It set an example for Jordan. Someday, for whatever reason, he may be impaired and wanting to drive. If someone tries to stop him, in that moment he just might remember that his mother accepted the fact that she could not drive when she was told not to. Stranger things have happened.

It empowered Jordan. He learned that it works when you tell an impaired person not to drive. If I had disciplined him for speaking up, that might have given him a different message and someday when the driver he is with is drunk, or distracted, or exhausted, he might  keep quiet. We don't want that.

I still maintain that teenagers do not get to order their parents about or set the house rules. But there are moments ...


Your thoughts?

He has a Job

My son has a job.


Oh, he's had little jobs before, like cutting a neighbor's bushes, but this is a bit bigger. Hours every week.


It's actually a volunteer job. It involves two things: helping a librarian plan and present a science program for elementary kids and developing activities on a gaming server for the same age group.


His work does involve showing up for planning sessions, preparation times, and lessons. It also involves a lot of self-directed hours. Almost all of the server work has been "on his own."


It's crazy to think he's old enough to have a job. I want him to still be little!! On the other hand, it's great to see him grow into these responsibilities. He's learning how to manage his time, handle anxiety and deal with slacking coworkers. It has been a fabulous experience for him.


Of course, it also means this is a different kind of summer for us. We have to plan our family time around his schedule. (My husband is a school teacher and so sets his own hours --and there are plenty of them-- in the summer. I am a stay at home Mom) But this change is just a harbinger of the greater changes to come as he moves toward adulthood. I guess small steps like this are good as they make big changes later less overwhelming.




Anyway, he has a job.


What changes are going on with your children and family?

Song for Sunday: Cat's in the Cradle

I feel like my boy is growing up fast. So very glad I have gotten to spend a lot of time with him. Into his teen years, I hope he still wants to hang with the family.

I remember hearing this song in my youth including once around the campfire at the New England Baptist Youth Conference, now the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park. I also heard it live yesterday when I was out with the CYC staff and faculty after they just completed another successful, intense and enjoyable conference. It struck a chord, so it became today's Song for Sunday.

Cat's in the Cradle

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind, m
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then 

Words: Sandy Chapin, Music: Harry Chapin

What songs do you rember from your youth? Which do you think have an important message?

On Facebook

My son now has a Facebook account. We allowed it primarily so that he can have access to his photography group without going through my account and so that he can keep in touch with geographically distant relatives.

We are, however, limiting who he can friend. It's a very short list. Family and a few friends from church and CYC. That's it. Also, he does not have his password yet. He can only log on with a parent. He also has to be friends with his parents.

This isn't just -- or even primarily -- a concern over "safety" and "appropriateness." Those are factors. Jordan needs to learn how to deal with dangerous situations in all contexts, including online. It's also important for him to recognize when something isn't appropriate for him to see --whether it's just for now or ever -- and look away.

There's another aspect of social media that needs to be addressed and is probably the most important. My son needs to learn how to present himself online. Whether he is updating his own status, commenting on someone else's or sharing a link, he needs to think about how others will perceive it and if he's sending the message he intends. Is he coming across politely and respectfully? Is he being unintentionally hurtful? Could his phrasing be clearer?

Some of this will be learned by trial and error. That's part of the reason for starting with a small friends list. These are people who will "love him anyway" if he missteps. I will also be giving him some guidance in these early days so that he understands the why of certain things and doesn't go too far out of line.

That's not to say I'll be constantly looking over his shoulder. Unless he asks for my help with wording, private chats and messages will be for him and the recipient. Only if he gets a message from someone he doesn't know or one that makes him feel uncomfortable is he required to disclose it. It's the more public stuff I want to help him navigate.

I also want to ensure that he doesn't become either overwhelmed or "obsessed" with online stuff. I see that as a parent's role.

Gradually, we will release full responsibility for my son's online behavior and connections to him. Our hope is that this time of training will prepare him to make wise decisions.


What has been your experience with young teens online?




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Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park (CYC) is a quality two week leadership development program for high school teens. Meeting for two weeks in August on the beautiful southern coast of Maine, it offers a blend of worship, Christian education and recreation. Check it out! 

Baby Bib

I came up with a new pattern.


I got the inspiration for it last Fall when I was looking for a pattern to make a baby gift. I didn't find a pattern for a bib, but I did find one for bath puppets made out of wash cloths. The only one that was practical was the duck; the others all had appendages like tails and antennae that looked like they would  poke the baby and probably fall off. I did make a few ducky puppets and give them to friends' babies.


I also came up with my own bib pattern which is actually pretty simple. I tried it with terry cloth and also with flannel but it didn't go so well.

Then I remembered the puppets and figured a bib might work with wash cloths, too. I tried it and --yes!--- it worked.

Here's the pattern, for you crafty types. If you try it, let me know how it goes.

You will need two 12in. by 12 in. wash cloths and matching thread. You may also want something to applique on the front, although if you use a patterned wash cloth, you probably wouldn't need it.






1. Place right sides of the wash cloths together and pin around the edges. Fold in half.









2.  Cut a scoop for the neckline out of top and folded edge. Neckline cut should start about 5 inches down fold. Leave about 2 inches on non-fold side for straps.

3. Unpin the wash cloths.

4. To applique: iron "stitch and tear" pellon onto wrong side of one cloth so that it covers the area you want to applique on to. Take applique item (either store-bought or handmade from cozy flannel) and attach fusible pellon to wrong side. Pin to right side of bib so right side faces out. Use a narrow zig-zag stitch around edge to attach applique to bib. Alternatively, hand sew it on using a blanket stitch. Tear away "stitch and tear" pellon.

5. Pin right sides of bib together. Stitch along neckline, making 5/8 inch seam. Trim seam.

6. Turn out bib so that wrong sides are together. Stitch around entire edge of bib, including the neckline just below the seam.

7. Hand sew half of snap or velcro onto front side of one strap and the other half on to the back side of the second strap. Trim excess thread, etc.



One note: traditional baby colors and designs are great, but don't be afraid to think outside the box. I recently gave a black bib with an applique representing the baby's dad's hobby to a friend. It seemed to be appreciated.



What homemade gifts have you given recently?




*Photos by Jordan Parry

What Jordan Thinks of His Mom, Take 3

My son is an amazing kid really. He's bright and funny and imaginative. Lately he's been doing extra chores and fetching and carrying. So what does he think of me?

I have done this little quiz with Jordan twice before. I am interested to see how his answers have changed, both for curiosity's sake and as a checkup on my parenting.

Here goes:

Jordan, age 13 years 2 months 27 days, answers...

1. What is something mom always says to you? Would you bring me my tea

2. What makes mom happy? Bringing her tea

3. What makes mom sad? When people don't do what they are told to do.

4. How does your mom make you laugh? By doing strange things and saying strange things.

5. What did your mom like to do as a child? Play outside

6. How old is your mom? 49

7. How tall is your mom? 5.2

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Play Peggle, eat chocolate and drink tea

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Play Peggle, clean

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Cleaning rooms and not giving up of the years of "No I don't think so."

11. What is your mom really good at? Drinking tea and eating chocolate. And Peggle, sometimes anyway

12. What is your mom not very good at? Not yelling at her children

13. What does your mom do for her job? She's a special education advocate consultant

14. What is your mom's favorite food? Chocolate

15. What makes you proud of your mom? Uh, cause she's my mommy

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Melinda Parry in the "Life of the Parry Family"

17. What do you and your mom do together? Mom plays Peggle, I watch. We listen to audio books

18. How are you and your mom the same? Same hair, same eyes, partially the same genetic material

19. How are you and your mom different? She likes to yell a lot.

20. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? The Chocolate Shop

21.How do you know your mom loves you? 'Cause she does.

Right so, there you have it. In my defense, I am playing Peggle because I have a broken foot. Also, I don't really yell that much. 

Read his answers from ages 11 and 9 here.

If you have kids, why not give this quiz a try?




I am participating in the the January 2013 Ultimate Blog Challenge.

A Teenager at Home....

I like teenagers.

Scratch that. I am in youth ministry partly because I

love teenagers. All of them, with all

their risk-taking, impulsiveness and arrogance. And all their generosity, energy and

thoughtfulness. It’s an amazing thing to watch them grow and become leaders, teachers

and productive adults.

But now I have one in my house. My son turns 13 today. I don’t know what to make of

that. It’s a bit …scary.

I mean, I know plenty about teenagers. Games they like, how to teach them, etc.

Parenting one, though? That’s a different proposition altogether.

Well, parenting has a way of being on the scary side. Did I make the right decision there?

Set the right balance here? Oh my….have I scarred him for life?

If you are a parent, you know what I mean.

Adolescence seems to take it to a new level, though. Or maybe it’s the anticipation.

I guess I’ll just have to get on with it. Prayerfully. Trying to stay in tune with who my son

is and who he is becoming. It’s got its exciting side.

My son is a wonderful kid. I am sure this next phase will be a positive one.

Do you have teenagers at your house?

Bible, the BMX track and Physics...

I wasn't expecting to teach physics yesterday. Or this month for that matter.

But Jordan's Bible lesson yesterday morning including a definition of energy. It lead us into a discussion about potential and kinetic energy. Who knew that would happen?

Then, we decided to spend our physical education hour at the BMX bike track in town. Jordan decided to figure out how far he could go with out pedaling if he started on a downward slope. He then began pedaling different distances, stopping, and seeing how far he could coast. I pointed out that he was experimenting with potential and kinetic energy.

He snarled, but he got the idea.

So we got an extra lesson.

I love homeschooling for a million reasons, but one of them is this element of serendipity in learning. We have fun, we make connections, we grow -- often in unexpected ways.

What kind of serendipity have you found lately?

A Bit More Independent..

So now that the laundry from two weeks at camp is pretty much behind me, there is something I am going to do. Teach my son to do laundry.

He already knows a little about it, but I want to make him thoroughly competent with it this year.

Here's why:

At CYC, I spent an afternoon in the laundromat. With a two-week program, it's just something you have to do. Counselors were taking campers to various laundry facilities that day and some of them ended up in the same one as me.

"What cycle should I use?"
"How many minutes should I set this for?"
"Do I need to use a dryer sheet?"

Now, it's not a problem that kids are asking questions, whether of me, their counselors or any other leaders. That's what we are there for. Part of going to camp is learning to be a bit more independent and this is one way to do it.

But, it's also part of my role as a parent to prepare my child for independence and making sure he can do tasks is part of that. This year, it will be laundry because that came on my radar screening. He can already do some cooking and cleaning. I'm going to just try to keep expanding his repetoire.


How are you getting your children ready for independence?

Being Mom

Sometimes, I think my son forgets he has more than one parent.

For example: The child has two soundly sleeping parental units, and only ever calls out "Mom! Mom!" when he has thrown up all over the bathroom. Dad sleeps right through it, because he's not "Mom".

I know I should feel flattered really....but after a repeatedly interrupted night's sleep, I still want to change my name. To "Dad" maybe :).

Of course, such dependence is a blessing and a joy inherently, even when I can't see it. And it won't last much longer. Even last night, the boy cleaned himself the first time without calling me. Soon he'll be taking care of himself all the time ......and then he'll be gone and I'll miss him.

So, I remember that this, too, shall pass and keep my own name.

(and try to take a nap today)


Oh....Jordan's feeling better and enjoying his popsicles....



Have a blessed day!



This is my 23rd post for the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Family Tree

I thought I knew my son well.

I mean, I homeschool. I am with him almost constantly. I know where he is and what he is doing, unless one of us is on a  trip or off at camp - about two weeks a year. I have multiple conversations with him most days.

But he still surprised me yesterday.

A few weeks ago he had seen a poster for "Genealogy Nights" at our local library and made the comment, "We should go to that." So yesterday I reminded him that the program was last night and asked if still wanted to go. "Yeah, sure." Not very enthusiastic, but definite.

So we went. He decided to look up a specific thing, the names of his grandmother's parents. I knew we could get that information easily by asking relatives, but I let him do it for practice. It proved to be trickier than expected, but then we hit the jackpot -- finding not only the names we were looking for but a family tree going back to the 1400s.

Jordan grabbed a generations chart and began feverishly copying down names, continuing even after he had been reassured that we could print out the chart next week. He was insistent -- "We might not find this again!"

Here's the thing. I had no idea that Jordan was interested in genealogy. When I asked him today what sparked this interest he just said he wanted to see who were related to and if it included anybody famous.

OK, then. As I said, I thought I knew my kid -- but may I don't know him quite as well as I thought.


How have your kids surprised you?





This is my 18th entry for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. One behind.

Jordan taking pictures...

I wish I could get a picture of Jordan absorbed in a photo shoot. He gets so wrapped up in it. His face just shines and his whole body is involved in the experience.

Today, I looked at him, lying on the ground in a  pile of leaves utterly concentrating on what he was seeing through the lens. He seemed to be in a perfect spot. He took pictures of trees, of individual leaves on the ground, of geese, of a woodpecker, of anything that caught his eye. The light was brilliant, the leaves in their fall glory. It was just enchanting.

I do wish I could get a picture of him like that, but it would have to be a seize the moment kind of thing and he always has the camera at those times. I guess I'll just have to rely on my memory.


What pictures would you like of your children? Have you been able to capture them as you want to?

Jordan's Success

Today I am going to brag about my son.

He entered the 4-H County Fair. He put in 16 exhibits.

First, they were judged against a standard. He earned 14 blue ("Excellent") ribbons and 2 red ("very good") ribbons.

Then the blue ribbon exhibits were judged against other blue ribbon exhibits for placement. Jordan earned four first place ribbons and a second place ribbon.

Two of his first place ribbons were for cookies -- cutout cookies judged for taste and appearance and decorated cookies judged on appearance only. He was very careful about the decorations and did a really good job with them. He had to bake those cookies all on his own. I just provided a bit of monitoring for safety purposes, but he didn't even really need that.

He got one of his red ribbons for a duct tape creation, a tooth brush holder. He plans to make a wallet for that category next year. I hope our local hardware store has lots of sales on the stuff this year. (Or it would make a good Christmas present...)


His remaining 12 exhibits were in photography. This was interesting. He had earned only red ribbons in the State Competition this year, after two years of taking not only first place but the Big E Award as well. He was rather disappointed in himself and barely glanced at the judging sheets, refusing to look at them with me.

His photo mentor said, "Well, success is a poor teacher." So, up at CYC, I handed over the judging sheets to the photo mentor and he and Jordan went over them. They talked about how to improve the photos and his mentor even disagreed with the judges about one photo.

Jordan took that advice to heart. He made changes to one photo (via cropping) and entered it in County. It moved up from red to blue. Of the other 11, he earned two first places and a second. So all those reds at State, which Jordan saw as failure, became a great learning experience.


I am really proud of Jordan. I am also very thankful to his photo mentor, a professional photographer, who volunteers his time to teach Jordan in an area I can't.

Actually, Jordan has several people in his life like that. I have come to the conclusion that part of parenting, especially in the homeschooling world, is to expose your child to people who will love them and teach them. I am grateful that I have so many opportunities -- most via CYC -- to do that.


Anyway, good job Jordan!


And have a great day everyone.





By the way, if you are looking for a great professional photographer in New England, check out Jordan's photo mentor: http://www.MGNorris.com/



CYC, the Christian Youth Conference at Ocean Park, provides a quality spiritual and leadership development program for high school teens.