Thursday, March 24, 2011

Feeling Better

My son emptied the dishwasher tonight. Just because he decided to. It's not his regular chore -- we don't even have a dishwawsher at home, no one asked him to and he didn't want anything.

This made me happy. I even posted about it on my Facebook status.

It also made me think of other good things that happened today.

I found Jordan's curriculum. It had been missing for weeks. It was in a closet at Mom's. What it was doing there is beyond me. But today was the day I had planned to get us back into the school routine, with back up activities, and it appeared. Yay! Now we can get back to French, and planning for Jordan's historical role-playing game about Ancient China along with more traditional topics like arithmetic and handwriting.

A friend of mine called up and offered to babysit tomorrow. So now I get to have a grown-up lunch and start planning for my mother's committal service without an active boy providing distractions.

With all this to be thankful for, I am feeling pretty good. Which is a far cry from where I was last night when I posted on Facebook that I was "Crashing. Big Time." No drugs were involved. I was coming down off the adrenalin I had been running on for the final days of my mother's life and in the aftermath of her death. Last night, I got hit with the sense of grief that shock and busyness had been masking. I began to feel overwhelmed with all that needs to be done to settle Mom's estate. And I realized I was plain exhausted. This morning I woke up to a flooded basement. Not what I needed.

But then, Jordan emptied the dishwasher. I looked back over the day and found so much to be grateful for. Not just the blessings I mentioned above, but also what I had accomplished. I cleared the water out of basement and took care of the overflowing oil burner. By myself. I dealt with Mom's car at the registry and her accounts at the bank. I even squeezed in a few lessons and some preparation for this weekend's house clean-out.

So I'm better. Oh, I know that grief will come in waves and I am sure there will be more times of exhaustion and frustration. But we'll do what we need to do and God will remain faithful. That's enough.

Blessings and peace to you.

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